so stressful in fact decided to escape. i had been in school for a grand total of 2 hours before i realized i needed to sign myself out for the rest of the day. i just could not be there. i had some thinking to do; thinking that couldn't be done with a million other people around. i headed to the office after 2nd period, to do just that. upon telling the office lady i was signing myself out she replied with some very snide comment about seniors always leaving (to which i wanted to tell her i had only signed myself out a grand total of 5 times and i have been 18 since september, but i couldn't get it out because of what happened next.), and then she asked for the reason of my departure. i wasn't sure how to respond, as i hadn't thought she'd ask but i decided to just go with the truth which was to think about my college decision situation, as it was getting down to the wire and i was very stressed about it. i had gotten a mere two seconds into my explanation when i started crying. and not just like a few tears rolling down my cheeks crying, but like the awkward gasping hyperventilation crying. all my stress had finally caught up with me...in the office of my school. tight. plus it didn't help that she was getting mad at me for signing myself out. but anyway i couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she must have semi felt bad for me as she stopped lecturing me, and talking about calling my teachers to ask if they'd mind if i left (since when can she do that??), gave me the pink slip and turned to the next person.
i continued to sob the entire walk to my house where i promptly got my keys and purse, and hopped in my car, off on a search to find a peaceful thinking spot.
i went on auto pilot and without thinking ended up at sugarloaf, a street that leads to a hiking trail overlooking la canada and la. i then proceeded to hike to the one lone bench on the top of the hill. i had the entire area to myself. i concluded this was because it was 11 am on a tuesday. and i was thankful for that.
i sat on that bench for two hours just thinking. thinking about many things that have been on the back of my mind recently (contributing to my building stress) but mostly i thought about college. i have to decide in 3 days where i will spend the next 4 years of my life, and for me, and most people actually, it feels like just the biggest decision in the world. in fact, it is probably the biggest, most life altering decision i have ever made. so needless to say it is indeed very stressful.
So i thought. and i thought. and i weighed pros and cons. and i overviewed every interaction i have had with each school. but most importantly i listened to my heart which i have had trouble doing recently. i listened really hard, and i heard what i think i have known for the past month or so.
SO...drum roll please :)
come fall you can find me at:
GONZAGA UNIVERSITY!!
{pronunciation: Gone - ZAG (as in "bag") - uh}
i am just ecstatic with my decision. the more i think about it, the more i fall in love with it. it feels surreal to say it out loud, and its scary, and so foreign to me, but im excited. so very excited.
please enjoy some pictures of my new home:
{cherry blossoms in the spring}
{a foggy morning in the fall}
{SNOW}
photo creds: jennifer raudebaugh, gonzaga u
i hope you have had a lovely start to your week!!
with much love,
kate
GO ZAGS. :)
to be continued.
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