letting go.

I have always been aware of the fact that i am an over thinker, but i've had this sudden epiphany that i think and over analyze a seemingly unusual amount, almost too much. So much in fact i have a hard time letting go. You can always tell that i have something on my mind, because when i do, i don't talk. I think im afraid that if i do talk when something's on my mind, it'll end up slipping up in a really awkward moment. Kind of like a word vomit situation. So anyway these days i have had SO much on my mind i find myself just thinking constantly.. plus im not really one to talk about how im feeling until ive completely analyzed the situation by myself. It has a lot to do with the fact that i am a very independent person and so often find it hard to ask for help. I just want to do everything myself. Like for instance i hate asking teachers for help, which used to get me in trouble in math classes because i have never been good at math, but i never wanted to ask for help because i thought i would eventually figure it out on my own. and let me tell you, that never happened. But anyway asking for help is something i have definitely struggled with, and it is something i am working on, and working to improve on. This year has been such a growing experience and so many things and events have taught me that its ok to ask for help, and its ok to share what i am feeling, and its ok to let go. Being open i have found is such a freeing experience. So much so i can see how it could easily become addictive. We all know those people, sometimes like an awkward and crazy 2nd aunt once removed, who just share way too much about their lives, and as you're talking to them you're kinda thinking ok thanks for sharing, but did i really need to know that? But then i find myself wondering if they used to maybe be like me and then once they started opening up they couldn't stop. Like opening up the flood gates. Once you do so you can't stop the flood from pouring out. So whether you're like me, who is just learning the blessing of not thinking so much, or you're like the 2nd aunt once removed, i invite you to share with someone, even if its just your goldfish, something you've been keeping inside, and experience the wonderfulness of letting go. From recent exposure i can tell you it feels pretty much the best.

let go. be free. and be happy.

i hope this finds you in happiness, health and love. xoxo

{although this was taken a while ago, it was a moment in my life of letting go. aka dressing up in weird glasses and headbands and going to e-mile late in the night. although not seemingly an act of letting go, i don't normally do such things. thanks girls for insisting i wear the weird glasses. it was fun. }

to be continued.